Eidenfall Public Safety Bureau Citizen Incident Affidavit Document ID: 1902-2493-09A
Case No.: ECF-███-███
Date Filed: ██/██/████
Location: Eidenfall, █████ District
Reporting Citizen: TAIGA, M.
Occupation: Cargo Attendant
Report Classification: UNUSUAL PERSON REPORT
Status: OPEN
Investigating Officer: Konsilieri Vywrdel, A.
VYWRDEL: Please state your full name for the record.
TAIGA: Do we have to do this song and dance, Konsilieri?
VYWRDEL: Citizen, please do not answer a question with another question.
TAIGA: Someone woke up cranky this morning? I am Taiga Miserere. Pleased to be of service.
VYWRDEL: Mr. Taiga Miserere, under the Binding Eye of the Akydoron do you swear that your statement shall contain no falsehood or misleading omissions?
TAIGA: Sure. But don’t be mad if my brain decides to forget some things, yeah?
VYWRDEL: Mr. Taiga, state your occupation and place of residence, please.
TAIGA: I work as a cargo attendant at the Sandfront Docks, but I reside at the Bulkhead.
VYWRDEL: Were you present in the Sandfront Docks on the evening of the incident?
TAIGA: Yes.
VYWRDEL: What time?
TAIGA: I’m not sure, it was pretty dark.
VYWRDEL: You have to be more specific, Mr. Taiga. Was it within the rising phase, crown phase, falling phase, or veil phase of the Ataraxis?
TAIGA: It would have been within the veil phase, I guess. Give or take, 4 subcycles into Veil. That’s just before my shift ends.
VYWRDEL: I’ll put down V-4 as the incident time, then?
TAIGA: Whatever suits you, princess.
VYWRDEL: Moving on, why did you approach a Peacekeeper to submit your incident report earlier?
TAIGA: You already know why. It was that creepy sword eye that stared at me.
VYWRDEL: Mr. Taiga, we have to do this properly. I told you that we are recording this affidavit as if you are reciting the incident with no prior consultation with me.
TAIGA: Seems like a waste of time. Besides, you were the one who…
VYWRDEL: Mr. Taiga, may I remind you that you are making your statement under the Oath of the Binding Eye. You must address me, a Konsilieri, as if you are addressing The Akydoron herself.
TAIGA: Well, that makes things harder, doesn’t it, princess? Entropy take the Akydoron, for all I care! Lilium Yin is a flower that never blooms, sitting all pretty like in her tower in Spireward, looking down on us plebian rats…
VYWRDEL: Taiga, seditious sentiment will not be tolerated. Stop. For your own sake.
TAIGA: If that makes you feel better, I apologize, Konsilieri. You know, my mum was a Peacekeeper too, so I have some semblance of respect for your ilk.
VYWRDEL: Let’s continue. What, if any, did you encounter in the Sandfront Docks at the time of the incident you mentioned?
TAIGA: We were expecting a shipment from Inamorata that night. Not Inamorite like usual, but the Peacekeepers implored us to assist in an entrapment operation of some kind.
VYWRDEL: Please refrain from using the term “entrapment”. Kindly recant your statement and restate your response.
TAIGA: It was, how do we say, an investigative effort by the Peacekeepers. Someone tipped the Konsil that a fugitive was about to arrive with a contraband relic. This thing supposedly murdered a bunch of off-world dolls. They asked help from undercover civilians like me to avoid suspicion.
VYWRDEL: Murdered dolls? You mean those slavebots from Inamorata?
TAIGA: No, heard it was some fancy dolls, with the baby smooth artificial skin. You know, from that floating library of that necromancer ,Lazeri, wasn’t it? Good chance one of their leyline experiments finally snapped. Wouldn’t surprise me. Poor girl.
VYWRDEL: Mr. Taiga, we will have to mark that as confidential. Eidenfall can’t risk any political fall out with The Falzchen at this time. I’ll redact that statement for the record. But please proceed. Did you receive the shipment you mentioned?
TAIGA: No, not exactly. Instead of the cargo-class ship we were expecting, this dark scoutcraft landed in the docking bay. My superior, a customs officer, Mikel Privat, hailed the craft for the pilot to emerge. But I could already tell something was wrong.
VYWRDEL: Why did you say something was wrong?
TAIGA: My gut. I know beast stench when I smell it.
VYWRDEL: Are beast flesh shipments rare in your line of work as a dockworker?
TAIGA: Nay, I didn’t say that. I used to be a void hunter in my younger days. I could smell the difference between Abram beasts, Tailor beasts, Leonel beasts, Morrow beasts, Bellwethers, Heralds, Vespertines, Sundreis, Nil Moraris, Anti-mimics…
VYWRDEL: Mr. Taiga, to the point, please.
TAIGA: This one didn’t smell like any of those. But I know beast scent when I smelled it. It was suspicious.
VYWRDEL: Were you scared?
TAIGA: Scared? Who do you take me for, Konsilieri? While you tarry yourself wrangling defenseless humans in this pisspot of a planet, i’ve been slaying Mega-Beasts back in Velar-VI. We dueled with fiends second only to Kuromega himself…
VYWRDEL: Mr. Taiga, none of that is relevant.
TAIGA: Was just trying to say, just because I settled down, doesn’t mean i’m scared of none of that.
VYWRDEL: Well, then. Continue.
TAIGA: We waited for a bit, but the lights weren’t on. The scoutcraft canopy had a dark tint too so can’t see inside. Old Man Privat had this bright idea to take out his trusty Mag-locker. Climbed up the scoutcraft to try and force the canopy open. Stuck it to the glasspane and pulled.
VYWRDEL: Did it work?
TAIGA: No, of course not. I could already tell it wouldn’t work by the way he flailed that thing around. Though, it was funny seeing Privat struggling with his stubby fingers. I was kinda hoping he’d lose balance and fall down like an idiot.
VYWRDEL: Did you do anything to help?
TAIGA: Not my job, not my problem. Soon enough, the canopy did open, no thanks to Privat.
VYWRDEL: What did you see, then?
TAIGA: A small girl emerged. I couldn’t make out her face, but she was shall we say, overdressed for a scout pilot. She was wearing formal regalia, as if she was about to go to work in some cushy office. But to top off that faux pas, she wore an absurdly long cape for her size.
VYWRDEL: This girl was piloting the scoutcraft?
TAIGA: You don’t see it often, but yes. Probably those doll types. I could tell by the way she stood, like a statue.
VYWRDEL: What did the doll-girl do, then?
TAIGA: I saw her unsheathe an odd broadsword from her waist, aiming it directly at Privat’s neck. I couldn’t forget it. That sword had a crimson eye of some monster. Could have sworn it stared right at me. Got my blood pumping, honestly.
VYWRDEL: Mr. Taiga, please be more precise. Were you talking about a sword, or a beast?
TAIGA: Aye, I know a beast eye when I see one. The girl noticed me gawking at it She pushed Privat down in a panic. Old bastard fell right out of the cockpit like a ragdoll.
VYWRDEL: Did you confront the girl?
TAIGA: Tried to, but decided to check up on the old man first.
VYWRDEL: And then?
TAIGA: Apart from having to brush of some sand off of him, Privat was fine. Still fatter than he was in his glory days, but fine. Sometimes I stare at his sullen single eye and ask myself. Is this sad thing the one I’ve once entrusted my life with? By theThousand Eyes, he was strong back then. The unbreakable Privat, terror of the Void Ocean of Velar-VI. Do you know the story? It was my fault, you know? How he lost his other eye? We were hunting an Abram class void beast, much bigger than a PRC frigate. Which wasn’t really that big of a deal for someone like me. We were pretty drunk and had a wager who could take down the beast first. The old man didn’t stand a chance, but I gave him a headstart and…
VYWRDEL: The girl. Where is she?
TAIGA: No need to be rude. I was just getting to that. Promise me you won’t put this part in your official log, okay, princess? Let’s pretend I had access to a Class-3 Peacekeeper recon rifle that a certain someone allowed me to borrow for some reason. Assuming for the sake of argument that I fired it at the girl, what would happen to me?
VYWRDEL: In theory, you would have committed two class-2 felonies, unauthorized possession of a firearm, aggravated by the circumstance of bearing a presumably stolen firearm that belongs to a peacekeeper, and secondly, disturbing the peace.
TAIGA: Just disturbing the peace?
VYWRDEL: The Eidenfall penal code does not classify dolls as persons within the meaning of the law. Shooting at property is not, in itself, a criminal offense. Destroying it, however, constitutes malicious destruction. Thankfully, you missed, despite being a self-proclaimed legendary void hunter, which means you will be charged with the lesser felony, thanks to your deficient aim.
TAIGA: Nice to get some assurance on an entirely theoretical scenario, then.
VYWRDEL: Back to the girl. Where did she go?
TAIGA: Well, after I scared her off with a warning shot, she ran off into the direction of the residential district. But who knows if she intended to go there. Could be the Spireward for all we know.
VYWRDEL: You think she’s meeting the Akydoron? What for?
TAIGA: Hopefully to stab that stupid third eye of hers. Hey, speculation is your job, madame detective. Who cares, anyway? Akydoron will get their reckoning. Now that would be exciting.
VYWRDEL: That is enough, Taiga. We can end your incident report here. I’ll have to manage this myself.
TAIGA: Wait, Vel. Sure you can handle it?
VYWRDEL: Citizen, please address me with my Peacekeeper title, and not any nicknames.
TAIGA: Vel, serious talk. No more of this fancy role play. This sword-beast thing isn’t the usual game. I told Kyrie i’d protect you, wherever the voidhell she is.
VYWRDEL: I don’t need to involve family. This is a professional Konsil matter, Taiga.
TAIGA: Once an Oceanreaver bastard, always an Oceanreaver bastard, or dead, as we say. Until we drown in the abyss, yeah? You’re still one of us, even if you’re now the Akydoron’s personal pet.
VYWRDEL: It’s not that. You’re dead weight.
TAIGA: Think you’re better than us now, are you? You still bear the cross of the Lady of Lost Winds. Got that tucked under your shirt, have you? The one Kyrie made for us. Still have it on my right arm too, see?
VYWRDEL: It’s just a keepsake.
TAIGA: Besides, don’t tell Privat I told you this, but the old man worries about you, Vel. Heck, even Joan and Tenebra too. They still got your back after all this time. Kyrie would too, assuming she isn’t dead yet.
VYWRDEL: What about you?
TAIGA: I liked the old Vel better, the mad woman rampaging across the starless sea, the one I almost fell in love with. New Vel, on the other hand, is a pathetic, land-locked worm.
VYWRDEL: Don’t flatter me. Regardless, this land-locked worm has a sworn oath, Taiga. I have to go.
TAIGA: Winds find you, Vel. Let’s see where your damned conviction leads you.
